If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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