I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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