I just pynch a tree in the face
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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