where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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