So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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