i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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