I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
