Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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