OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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