sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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