susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
