its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is Oprah even human
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
