Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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