Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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