did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
