: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
