Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
