I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
