was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
