oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
