hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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