I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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