walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
