so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
