the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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