Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
