I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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