I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
