So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
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i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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