He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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