I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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