Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
