Just cropdusted the office
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
