hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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