At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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