So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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