Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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