I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bring me that man meat
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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