I want to have your abortion
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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