the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
