Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
