that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
