I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
