im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
