Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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Vodka?
Forever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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