It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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