Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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