Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
