Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
