This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
