last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He passed out mid-signature
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
