You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
