I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
