yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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