it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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