Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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