I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
