shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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